“I’ll drink up all the Hennessy you got on your shelf, so just let me introduce myself…”
(Never thought I’d use The Humpty Dance right out of the chute, but there you have it.)
Let’s get the vitals out of the way so we can get to the good stuff. My name is Andrew Monge. I’m 40 years old (God help me), married to my first girlfriend from high school (both of us with a marriage to and divorce from other people between high school and our triumphant reunion five years ago), and father to enough children and stepchildren to field a baseball team. I’m a computer programmer by trade, and absolutely love my job when it’s not driving me crazy. I love to read, listen to music, eat delicious food and drink alcohol, take walks and hikes with the missus, and, uh, yeah. That’s it in a nutshell. There’ll be more that comes out as time goes by, but in the end, I’m pretty much your average guy.
So, as a random Joe Blow, what makes me think I’ll be remotely entertaining enough to not only create a blog but also sustain any kind of readership or popularity with the masses? I’d like to think it’s because I won’t really be working to achieve the lofty expectation of becoming The Number One Blogger in the World. Instead, I’m just going to write about things that I enjoy. For me, writing is always fun and occasionally even cathartic. I’m an introvert by nature — just ask my poor outgoing wife, who’s always wondering if something is wrong with me because I’m so quiet. But put me in front of a notebook or journal or, unfortunately for you, a keyboard, and watch me go. Mister Mumble-a-Yes-or-No suddenly won’t shut the hell up.
“What will we cover on this blog?” you’re asking. Good question! Only problem is I don’t have a clue. What I can tell you is that it won’t be random stream of consciousness garbage. If you’re interested in someone writing insightful things such as “Ouch! I just stubbed my toe walking from the car to the house!! :(” or “OMG! A girl just smiled at me!!” or “U peeps r 2 kewl!” then you should probably go back to Twitter and find something else to read. You see, this is just the introduction and I’m *still* blathering on. Warnings aside, my guess is I’ll use this space to talk about books and music a fair amount (shall we say 50% or so?). Not only do I enjoy reading, but I’ve also enjoyed talking about books on various websites and message boards over the years. I’ve proofread books for various small-press publishers, selected fiction to be published on a friend’s website, written book reviews, etc. So, yeah, books will be discussed here. Maybe even some interviews. And I *love* music. I’m sure at some point we’ll talk about how I cried when I heard Kurt Cobain died, and damn near cried when I saw the new Pink Floyd: Early Years compilation was $500 (ugh). With our remaining 50% of space, we’ll tackle all kinds of random nonsense. I have plenty of parenting things to discuss (in fact, blog #1 will cover baby profanity). I’ll react to the senseless violence in our world (as I write this, details of the Ft. Lauderdale, Florida airport shooting are trickling out). I try to stay out of the quagmire that is politics and religion, but occasionally I’ll throw caution to the wind and join the fray. We’ll tackle hard-hitting, Pulitzer-worthy topics like food, the changing of the seasons, fantasy football, and the demonspawn who drive perpendicular to the aisles in parking lots (God, I hate those fuckers…..and they even have the audacity to get mad at you when you’re going down the aisle like a normal human being and they have to jam on their brakes to prevent themselves from t-boning you).
Sound good? I hope so. While I’m mainly doing this out of pure selfish entertainment, I’m hoping I can create some kind of emotion in you while you read. Joy or anger. Laughter or tears. I have no delusions that I’ll make everybody happy along the way. But I’m OK having people who disagree with a book review or a topical stance. Emotion one way or the other is good. It’s when people are indifferent – whether here or in their day-to-day lives – that I get concerned.
Until we meet again…